How to Flirt

Do you suck at flirting? Let’s suck up this ice cold lemonade and talk about it! Here are the best flirting tips from the master of seduction himself!

Personally, I think a great way to go about it is by being drunk, but not too drunk, of course. Be drunk in a nice way! 

There really shouldn’t be any deliberation or method to it. Look the person you want to flirt with in the eyes and say something. Maybe you can say, “Hello!” 

When you flirt you gotta listen! Can anything be more substantial than this?(It really doesn’t matter what someone is saying to you) – to hear and not miss.

Don’t hold back – there is no resurrection without sacrifice.

Enjoy yourself! Flirting should be fun, you know? It’s towards pleasure that all of nature bends, after all. 

Cigarettes are hot. Ask for a cigarette or a lighter.

Surrender yourself to the fun flirty moment. You can observe yourself later. Yield!

Smile! A smile is so beautiful and you are so beautiful when you smile.

Let yourself be amused and laugh. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your flirt’s fun jokes. Laugh with God. 

Ask questions.

Put your hand on their shoulder.

Say their name! They have a beautiful name.

Give compliments, but not too many. It all has to be tactful and tasteful – which you are, of course! 

Don’t talk about politics or war or whatever.

Have courage! If you plan to be shy, expect a shy ass time to be your harvest, my friend. It’s ok to be shy sometimes, but you really have to be super cute for that to work. 

You have a soul. You can flirt with your soul.

Let it be known that you want sexy things! There are many excellent and subtle ways to do this. Be as vague as possible until it’s impossible to be so any longer. It usually doesn’t last very long if you’re doing it right.

Open your god damn eyes to the people around you! Variety is the spice of life. They don’t have to be young and hot for you to flirt with them. I was flirting with a BFB (big fat bald) construction worker the other day. I thought it couldn’t happen, but it did. 

Don’t dream it! Be it! And if that doesn’t work, dream it.

Buy them a drink.

Leave them a fucking note.

Don’t end up being one of those people who only do this and that. If you do this, you’ll immediately regret that and remain motionless forever. Just do it. 

Have faith in yourself. You are good at flirting. 

Good luck!

text: Ian Memgard

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