Maybe this is a bit too much information but I was fucking this extreme French twink-looking guy in the ass the other day, and as I was fucking him he kept doing this extremely faggy moaning, and I thought to myself: I’ve truly done it all now, including gay sex. The year is 2021 and nothing, I mean nothing, is impossible for women.

Apparently there was some sort of a pandemic and people wrote a lot of nonsense about These Unprecedented Times as if everything that happens isn’t, in its own way, happening for the first time, because a lot of people are lucky enough to have had no real extremely negative collective experience – war, pandemics – during our whole lives up until now. If anything’s unprecedented, it’s probably that, I mean to suffer only moderately and in private for almost your whole life. As if I suffered this year. Not much. A little bit, maybe. Moderately, and in private.

Despite These Unprecedented Times, I often found myself thinking: This exact moment is so extremely fun and I hope I’ll always remember itbut due to alcohol I can’t remember all the times I thought that – I just know it happened a lot, and I’ll have to be satisfied with that – let this year in review stand as a testament: There Once Was A Happy Time.

I always used to walk around like an idiot telling myself and others that life is long and full of time, then maybe spend a whole day lying in bed reading about different spices on wikipedia or watch people fight each other on the internet. The main thing separating youth from later times is that you really think time is limitless. How long is a year when you’re fourteen? An eternity, so filling it with shitty manga and anime is fine. 

The thing is, things have an inevitable beginning and end. There’s individual differences in the length of a life, but the limits are there, and it’s unlikely to last more than a hundred years, isn’t it? The oldest woman in the world was French and lived until she was 122 years old, but by then all her children and grandchildren were dead and she couldn’t see or even read bad manga, so what’s the use?

What is there to cheaply try to hold on to like you’re pinching pennies? Use – and spend – your life and your body, because you can’t keep anything anyway. Sometimes the world shows tempting little glimpses of sinful, funny possibilities and then there’s no time to be a coward – just go. Quoth the car, “Wroom wroom!”

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